Are You Cooler Than a 5th Grader?/Transcript
This is a Transcript of Episode Are You Cooler Than a 5th Grader? by Phoenix107. This is still incomplete so more will be added soon. Transcript Jessie: It's 0700 hours. Outta your cots and hit the mess hall for Eggs Florentine and chocolate Croissants. Okay this rich people food really kills my home military vibe. Zuri: Here's a fun fact. When you're blow-drying doll hair, high is too high. (She pulls out a doll with a disfigured face.) Jessie: Oh, uh that's okay, sweetie. Noses are overrated anyway. Just ask Voldemort. Zuri: (horrified) Don't say his name. (She goes back into her room.) Luke: Good morning Jessie. (He begins to dance.) Let's get this weekend started. Jessie: It's Monday. Luke: Urgh, wake me up on a Saturday. (Ravi comes out wearing a sherwani) Ravi: Hello good family. Who's ready to get their learn on? Jessie: Oh my, whatchu' wearing? Ravi: It's my sherwani, only worn on very special occasions. Since my tutor says I'm now ready to start school with Emma and Luke, what a special day to wear it. Luke: Maybe on a day when your nightclub act opens in Vegas. Jessie: Luke, that happens to be a very beautiful traditional Indian Sherbubi. Ravi: Sherwani. Jessie: Sure... wani. My point is you look really great and I know Luke is going to look out for you today. (Ravi goes back to his room.) Jessie: (To Luke) You better look out for him. Luke: How can I miss him? He looks like a traffic cone with hair. Jessie: Just go get dressed. Your teacher sent enough letters home that you've shown up in your underwear again. (Emma comes out from her room) Emma: So, what d'you think about my shoes. Jessie: I think they look like some sort of medieval torture device. (Emma walks with her shoes and trips.) Emma: (while horrified) Pretty hurts, and all my friends will be wearing this in a few months. Jessie: How do you know? Emma: Because I'm wearing them now. It's my duty to help the fashion-challenged. Jessie: Well, you'll just have to do your duty in flats. (Luke opens the door.) Luke: (giggles) You said duty. Jessie: Get dressed. (Luke closes the door.) (Scene moves to the school.) Emma: (To Ravi) Okay, so you have history, then math then shop. Just so you'll know shop doesn't involve shopping. I learnt it the hard way. (Emma opens her locker.) Ravi: Thank you but do not worry, I've the school thing wired. (School bell rings.) Ravi: Fire! Fire! I will save my new school! (Ravi opens the cabinet and wraps himself with the hose.) Luke: That was the school bell, not act-like-an-idiot bell. Ravi: Alright, what does the idiot bell sound like, because I want to be prepared. Luke: I think you're prepared. Emma: Class is starting, I gotta hassle. (Emma tries to walk with her new shoes but struggles. She finds 2 students walking past her.) Emma: Room 3-12, please. (Emma places her arms on the students' heads for support as they all walk to her classroom.) Ravi: (greeting 2 students passing by.)''Ravi K. Ross, please to meet you. Cheerio, fellow pupil. Would you like to see a picture of my lizard? '''Luke': Ravi, dial it down. Ravi: I'm just trying to make friends but nobody seems to notice me. Luke: Well they're noticing. Look I'm gonna hurry so here's what you need to do: Find one main friend, meet all his friends and bam, you're popular. Ravi: Oh, I see. Hello friend. (offers a handshake.) Luke: Gosh. Oh I wish it could be me, but unfortunately, the school has a policy against kids in different grades socialising. I'm in 6th and you're in 5th, just wouldn't be natural. (School bell rings again.) Ravi: Fire, class or idiot bell? Luke: Class. Go! (Ravi runs away and Finch appears.) Finch: Luke, Dale Davenport's back, and now so is my nervous rash. (He scratches his rash.) Luke: I thought he was suspended for a week. Finch: Well yeah, he was supposed to be but the lunch lady was too scared to testify. Luke: Okay, just calm down and don't make eye contact. Finch: Right. (Finch looks at Dale and hurriedly cover his face with his shirt.) Dale: I'm feeling kinda thirsty. Gimme that. (Dale walks to another kid and takes his juice box) Dale: 45 grams of sugar? You wanna be all Jerry in class? (Dale squishes the juice box, with all the juice spewed on the kid.) Dale: Tomorrow, you better bring me some carrot juice and bring some for yourself too. Your body is a temple, don't make me knock it down. (walks away.) Finch: Did you make eye contact? Luke: No, I stopped at the nostrils, they were so flared and he had bats in the cave. (Scene moves to outside the building.) Zuri: Why can't we use mom's credit card to buy me a new doll? Jessie: Because you appreciate things more when you work for them. Zuri: You think whining for something isn't work? I threw a 4-day tantrum to get that doll. I cried off 2 pounds. Jessie: That's impressive but selling homemade lemonade is an American tradition. Plus it's an easy way for kids to get pocket money. Zuri: So are ATMs. Can't we just build one of those? Jessie: No, you're going to earn for that doll. How much is it anyway? 20/30 bucks? (takes a sip of lemonade.) Zuri: 200. (Jessie spits out the lemonade.) Jessie: What? Zuri: 250 if you want an outfit. (Jessie hangs up the sign on the lemonade stand.) Jessie:There, how does that look? Zuri: Is that supposed to be my handwriting because I know which way my 'E's go. Jessie: It's adorable. Adorable sells. Zuri: I got your adorable right here. (She pokes her cheek.) Jessie: You're right, who could say no to that face? Zuri: Hi Mrs. Chesterfield. Lemonade? Mrs. Chesterfield: No. Jessie: Come on. How do you expect a little girl to earn money in the big city? Mrs. Chesterfield: Do what I did. Marry it. Jessie: All right Chesterfield doesn't count. She only drinks human blood. (A police officer walks by.) Jessie: Oh, lemonade, officer? Half off for New York's finest. Zuri: Don't be throwing discounts willy nilly. (Police officers gives a ticket to Jessie.) Zuri: What is it? Jessie: It's a ticket for not having a vendor's permit. Great job, officer, you're keeping the streets safe from lemonade? Maybe you'll get promoted to the Snowcone Task Forest. (laughs) Zuri: Uh oh, he's coming back. Jessie: Run! (Jessie and Zuri hurryingly carries the stand.) (The scene moves to Central Park.) (Luke is playing with his friends.) Ravi: Hi brother. Luke: No. (walks to Ravi) What are you doing here? Ravi: I'm here to seek admission to your click. Luke: Ravi, I told you, grades can't mix. Ravi: At school but this is not school. Finch: Why is that kid dressed like a marshmallow? Ravi: This is a cricket uniform. (opens lid of his container full of dragonfire peppers) Dragonfire peppers, anyone? They're hotter than Selena Gomez. I love you Go-Go. Finch: I'm gonna have to pass. Ravi: (takes a bite on the pepper.) Okay, your loss, but it is a 6-hour match so do not complain when you get peckish. Now I'm going to hummer in the wickets. (runs away.) Finch: (To Luke) Wicket? Cricket? That kid can stick it. How do you even know him? Luke: I-I-I don't really know him. He's my dad's friend's cousin's dog's neighbour. Ravi: Wickets are almost in. Luke: Oh no, you busted a sprinkler pipe. Finch: Oh great, Luke. Your dad's friend's cousin's dog's neighbour just flooded our field. Let's go guys. Ravi: Hello? Guys? Are we now playing Hide-and-go-seek? I'm afraid they're now playing Hide-from-the-geek. (Scene goes to the lemonade stand.) Jessie: You know, this is actually better. We're out of the sun, no bus fumes- Zuri: and the fuss can't hassle with us. (Emma is seen in the building, limping.) Jessie: Hey Emma, are you limping? Emma: No, I'm not limping. I'm... dancing. (Emma tries to dance while walking to the lift lobby, presses button and gets into the elevator.) Jessie: Good thing prom is 4 years away, All right, do not worry Zuri, we'll have your 200 dollars in no time. Zuri: That's 280 with a ticket. Jessie: Yes, I can do math. Zuri: I wasn't sure after seeing your spelling. (points up at the sign.) (Ravi walks into the building drenched.) Ravi: Zuri, hit me with a towel, I wish to drown my sorrows in lemonade. Jessie: Ravi, you're soaking wet, what happened? Ravi: I was trying to mingle and there was an illegation ? mishap. It is not easy being the new kid. Jessie: Tell me about it, I was a military brat, well, I wasn't a brat I was precious. Ravi: Is this going to take a while? Because this wet uniform is starting to chill. Jessie: The point is the adult me wants to say, "Just be yourself and everything will be fine." The teenager in me knows that being yourself can sometimes be a one-way ticket to Swirlyville. Ravi: Ooh, Swirlyville. It sounds like a magical place where everyone gets frozen yoghurt. Zuri: No, a Swirly is a toilet shampoo. Ravi: So no sprinkles? Zuri: Sometimes. Jessie: Maybe you can find some new admirers and try to be like them. Ravi: Maybe I could. Thank you Jessie, I know exactly what I'm going to do. Jessie: Oh really? Oh great 'cause I'm just sort of winging it there. (Mrs. Chesterfield is seen powerwalking.) Jessie: Good evening, Mrs Chesterfield. (Mrs. Chesterfield grunts.) Mrs. Chesterfield: You cannot sell lemonade in my building, Bessie. It's completely inappropriate. (Bertram walks by) Mrs. Chesterfield: Oh hello, Bertie. You wants some fries with that shake? Bertram: I hate to turn down fries but I'm gonna go with no. (Bertram walks into the elevator.) Mrs. Chesterfield: Oh, tease. (Elevator closes.) Mrs. Chesterfield: (sighs) Why are you still here? Jessie: Please, Mrs Chesterfield. Let Zuri have her lemonade stand. Do you have to crush a little girl's spirit? Mrs Chesterfield: Oh, If I don't, who will? Zuri: It's for a really good cause. Mrs Chesterfield: Which is? Zuri: I need a new doll! Hmmm... that sounds a lot less selfish in my head. Mrs. Chesterfield: Strange little girl, let this be a lesson to you : When life gives you lemons, do not make lemonade. Now peddle your swill elsewhere. Zuri: That woman needs to lay off the hater raid. (Scene goes to the school cafeteria.) Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Transcript